i might sound prideful... because, i am!

warning: i am about to sound somewhat cocky. i don't mean it that way. instead, i'm being transparent in my pride. feel free to pray for me!

ever since i was little i've been a winner. i'm extremely competitive (perhaps an understatement) and have been long before i can even remember my childhood. i would win spelling competitions and foot races. i would be the first one done w/ a test and i'd be the first captain at recess. i'd win the pine car derby race and i'd win the citizenship award.

and then i got to high school where i spent a lot of time winning basketball games. i won a state championship. i won friends. i won good grades. i won best personality.

and then i won a college scholarship. i won more basketball games. i won more friends and more good grades (plus a couple bad ones!). you see, i spent a lot of time being successful.

then i got a job. then i got promoted. then i got more responsibility. then i got to stand in front of thousands of people and speak. then those people told me i did a good job. then i got more responsibility. then i was in the loop.

and then, today, i realized that my success (which i do my best to attribute solely to God) is often my god. i find comfort and affirmation and productivity in my success. and then i start to take credit or at least feel like i deserve credit. i realized that i want to win more than i want to pursue God.

i forget the sacrifice that Jesus paid so that i might be successful in His name. i forget the magnitude of the cross. i forget that i can't do anything of worth without my Savior. today i realized that success is not my list of accomplishments but, instead, success is giving the credit to God. the God with Whom all things are possible... all things including a selfish, prideful person like me coming out as a winner in the end.

you know, because i've already won and it wasn't anything that i did. here's to a new kind of winning... and it all starts with giving the credit where credit is due. thank you, Jesus.