i am tired because...

let me be honest for a moment (well, really i'll be honest the whole time)... i'm tired. not just ready for bed tired (i'm that too!) but tired in general. i just feel worn out. let me tell you why. to make sure i'm clear on my intentions- i'm not telling you why to feel sorry for me or judge me or call me out. i'm just telling you with the hope of being less tired... so there. as i've said before, i'm using you.

i am tired because...

i'm coaching basketball alongside my more than full time job of pastoring students (both of which i feel privileged to do regardless of the fatigue).

my wife (and myself and her family) is hurting as her grandpa fights pancreatic cancer.

life is short.

my friend and college teammate has a brain tumor at the age of 24.

i'm burdened.

i'm human and i'm weak and i think i can do it all on my own. i'm here to tell you that's no good and very ineffective. and, simply, tiring. i need to let it go and i need to ask for help. i'm sorry if you feel like you're eavesdropping but this is what i need to say,

"help me, Jesus. i cannot do it on my own and i'd rather not keep trying. i am tired and i believe that you'll bring me rest. but please, don't remove the burden (i need that). i love you. amen."

if you're tired like me, i recommend you just let it go. and then, like me, go to bed. good night.