i needed a second chance

sometimes i fall short of what is required or expected of me. those times make me feel like crud. tuesday night was one of those times. details are not all that important but for those who are curious... i gave a message to middle schoolers. it was bad. i did not speak the "word" that God had given me. i did not speak with passion and conviction. i did not speak as if tuesday night was the last night i might ever have with these students. i did not speak to glorify God.

it was quite selfish and really, just bad. i was discouraged when i left the gym that night. i spent a sleepless night praying and thinking and wondering "what if?"

then i woke up and embraced the fact that i was getting a second chance (something Jesus is really into, btw). i was giving the same message (essentially) wednesday night to a group of high schoolers. and so i set out to work as if it depended on me. then i prayed as if it depended on God (which it does). i was going to be as prepared as i possibly could. i was not going to be distracted or discouraged (two of satan's favorite weapons). i was thankful for a second chance.

God showed up in my second chance and i spoke my guts out wednesday night before an audience of one (the one being Jesus. there was more than one student). because that's what matters. it really wasn't about me or about students or about speaking. it was about God.

the honest truth is that i was humbled by all this. i needed to mess up and i needed a second chance. when it was all said and done, i could only look to God and say... "it was all You." because that was the truth and i'm nothing without the Truth.